• rayna

my little fish

I'm unsure of how to describe my history of resonating with fish without sounding a little bit peculiar so I think I'll just skip straight to the point that I strongly believe I was a fish prior to this much more baffling physical form. The story I'm going to tell is also really deep so I feel like by sharing it people will stop ridiculing my own personal beliefs because they'll feel bad

I really love the idea of reincarnation. At the end of the day, nobody knows what really happens do they so why not relish in the possibility that one day your consciousness might be transferred over to a giraffe? I'd much prefer being a giraffe than stuck in the sky with homophobic money-grabbing 'angels' but that's just me.

I have a new reason to add to my long list of signs which strengthen my belief in my reincarnation and it starts with the most precious woman I've ever come across gifting me a psychedelic fish she got in her happy meal as a leaving present when I moved away. I had only been here for a month when I got a call to say that she had passed away. This devastated me, and it still does to some extent. But she gave so much to everyone she came across and she was so dreamy and eccentric that I think she was far too good for this life. I think about her all the time and all the positivity she gifted me including this little fish.

When I moved here of course I completely forgot about the fish until my mum visited me for the first time. She brought some bags of random things I'd left behind and my little fish was in one of them. My mum didn't even know the story of where I got it from, but it didn't matter.

I've couch surfed a lot since moving here and without even thinking about it I've kept hold of this little fish. Everywhere I go it just ends up showing up somewhere and I'm always so happy to see it. It's really hard when you don't have photos to look back on with people we lose, and I just don't think it's a coincidence that out of anything I could have to remember her by, it's a cuddly psychedelic fish.

Things like this just give me hope in the universe and bring me so much joy. I feel connected to something and it feels nice. It's almost like I can feel Laura's happy spirit through this happy meal toy and while part of me wants to lock it somewhere safe I also love it when I come across it randomly. It's my symbol of gratitude and hope. Look how cute it is

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