• rayna

sweet mother nature

Updated: Oct 9, 2020

I walk over the rocks to the seabed and I scream in the face of nature. And I know she feels it and she carries on. The clouds sit gently in the sky as the waves approach me and they tell me its okay. All is well and all is how it should be. And I sit with her and embrace the comfort she gives me. And I feel like I belong.

Its not me against the world but its me and the world, because without the world i would be nothing and without my consciousness the world wouldn’t be here. Close your eyes - what do you see? Nothing. No sea, no rocks no clouds. Open them - the world comes back.

This is how I see myself. It can be lonely but it can be the most beautiful feeling of connection you will ever experience.

When I meet people, the one thing they pick up is my free spirit. My ability to let things go and to accept things that happen. I get a sense of envy from them with a little bit of admiration.

When I first let go of my ego, and by that i mean i stopped caring about things because I put all my trust and faith in the power of the universe, I thought wow, this is bliss. I’ve reached enlightenment, but I’m starting to doubt such a place exists, as if it did why aren’t we all there?

I’m at a point now of complete disassociation. From myself, from others and from my purpose and path. People compliment me, I look nice today or I have nice eyes. But to me that’s not me. I‘m not looking for compliments I am looking for another perspective. Because I’m lost, and things are tough.

For some reason I am where I am, away from everything and everyone familiar. I think it is to find myself, to find the answers with no distractions. But I haven’t found any. I’ve found beauty, and for that I am grateful, but the only beauty is in nature, and it’s quite difficult to only rely on nature rather than people. But I am not a burden to nature, she accepts me and she welcomes me with openness and serenity. And i don’t have that anywhere else. So I give myself to nature. My whole body and soul, and she holds me, but then I have to face reality. When the sun sets I walk home and go to sleep, I spend the day surrounded by people who I love, but when the evening comes I go back to the sea and i smile because i finally feel at home

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