Things have been a bit heavy and I’ve been massively wallowing in self pity at the times of day I should be being grateful. I was in a really beautiful, peaceful place not too long ago, and I think when you taste bliss you feel really bad when you see yourself slipping into old ways. Having to accept you can’t be right at the top all the time. Starting again,
So I haven’t been reflecting or writing, which i think is such an important thing to do. When you turn your thoughts into words you can read back, you’re slowing them down and picking them apart, so theyre no longer random. I read this story of an art piece and it has given me a perspective on whats been going on in my life that is much more pleasant,
Dekooning- Blank Piece of Paper (1953)
Dekooning sent Raushberg a drawing and issued him a ‘challenge’ to make something better
Raushberg took the challenge and erased all his work. But it wasn’t just pencil lead. Dekooning had used ink, oils, lead and other media to make the piece.
So Raushberg really had to put in a lot of effort, energy and problem solving to blank the whole piece without ruining the paper.
In doing this, the blank piece of paper documents and shows the energy and emotion of totally transforming the art from finished drawing back to blank paper
My interpretation of that is to anyone else it looks like I’m back where I started, and in some ways I am. Because anyone else doesn’t know how much I’ve been tampered with, and i guess it’s a symbol of strength that the paper appears so untouched on the outside. I don’t think i can really compare myself to the paper in that instance because theres a few things that give my tampering away.
Or the paper is a reminder to live in the present, not even bother thinking of the past, what you were before it all got erased, because at the end of the day - after enough time you just end up a blank piece of paper again.
Either way a nicer perspective that’s helped me out my rut the past few days